Words of wisdom, and things to think about.
Disclaimer: This is what -I- hold to be true. If you disagree, that's your right. So go... chew a squirrel's scrotum. Oh yeah, and read at your own risk.

Contrary to popular belief, there is -no- Santa Claus. Sorry kiddies.

Along those same lines, there is no Easter Bunny. (Over there, that's just some guy in a suit.-Brody-Mallrats.)

If God is real, and I'm not so sure he is, what's his name? Bob? Beuford?

A cheerleader's rate of braincell decay is inversely proportional to the size of her waist.

Rhode Island is just a figment of our imagination.

There -is- a spoon.

Why did they really call it Uranus?

The people who talk to you don't really like you.

Bill Gates is really a robot. A dead sexy robot.

The first male to give birth to a child inherits Walt Disney's fortune.

It's time for me to do my homework.

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

Those who are supposed to love you dislike you more than anyone else.

Shoplifters aren't caught, so they're not prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

But if it's you doing the stealing, you will be.

My feet are cold.

Work sucks hard.

You are my fire, my one desire.

I never want to hear you say I want it that way.

The 1990 Suburban=God.

Tripod is the antichrist in webhosting form.

The cable internet is God's gift to geeks.


Tripod, Target, Terror, Trivial, Tedious, Tara, all T words...coincidence? I think not.

Love is a four letter word. So's poop.

Ice skating is fun.

According to a girl in my english class, Walt Whitman is the guy that started Disney.

"blah blah blah blah, and now read this section on Walt Whitman..."
"Isn't that the guy who started Disney." Genius. Pure genius.

I like bunnies.

This is the most updated part of my page.

That's sad.

I like short sentences.

I am.


I have to work tomorrow.

Spring Break is a good thing.

College is scary.

So's Mrs. Conway.

Corpse. I am dead. x_x <---Sign I wore in English class.

Corpses are fun.

I miss Leslie. I don't miss Meghan.

Bitterness is not a good thing.

Plumb is a very, very good band.

The Misfits rock your mom.

I think I'm done now!